Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Enjoying Life Again

Lately I have been feeling so much better.  I feel alive again.  I can't even put my finger on exactly what it is. Maybe it is just a combination of steps I took to improve my life since my last post.

Change #1: I got out and did kid free stuff.  I'm lucky that my husband supported me on this and watched the kids.  I had a blast hanging out with girlfriends, attending a few parties, and singing karaoke.  I was even able to pursue one of my dreams and get up on stage at a local comedy club and do stand up.  I also got a sitter and had a few date nights with my husband.  It was so much fun to see a movie in an actual movie theater!  I have more events planned for the future.  While I certainly can't do everything I did before kids, I can get out every now and then and that certainly makes me feel more alive.

Change#2: I started a parent group.  Every weekend we go somewhere new and it is always a fun surprise to see who shows up.  This group has helped me reconnect with old friends and make some new friends.  It is great for my kids too.  They love playing with others and we almost always go somewhere where they can go nuts and get their energy out.  

Change #3: I started eating healthy.  Since I am so busy, this is had been difficult.  My husband and I began eating prepared meals from one of those healthy food places and I lost over 20 pounds.  This was a bit of a shock as I only did this healthy meal thing to help my husband eat gluten free.  I lost so much weight that I had to buy new clothes (the past 4 years have been miserable experiences for clothes shopping).  This time around I actually enjoyed trying on new clothes.  Sure, I still have a jello crater belly and not everything looks great on me, but I've come a long way and I feel physically great.  I have way more energy.  I can't figure out if the "feeling great with more energy" is because of the food (perhaps a blood sugar thing?), or the fact that I am hauling around less weight on my frame, or that I have a better body image.  Whatever it is, it is working...


Change #4: I went on a really fun kid friendly vacation (Disney).  Most of our vacations until now have been a LOT of work.  This one was certainly a lot of work, but it was also so much fun.  Going on Splash Mountain with Peach was a highlight.  I have so many good memories.  I want to go back.  We went to Disney during a normally difficult time of year for me (the anniversary of my father's death).  This year I took time to remember him, but I was not filled with the same deep sadness that I have felt in years past.  Some of my best memories of my dad were at Disney.  It was fun reconnecting with those memories while making new ones. 

Change #5:  I took back the night!  While Dan was out of town I got Penny sleeping though the night.  Then, we moved Pen into Peach's room.  While we still occasionally have someone sneaking into our bed in the middle of the night, we are all getting so much more sleep.  Also, we seem to have more time to ourselves after the kids go to sleep as their bedtime has become more routine and regimented (8pm and we walk out the door - Woot!)

So there may be something to the whole "taking time for yourself makes you a better parent" thing.  Also, our kids are getting older.  They are becoming more independent.  They entertain each other more.  Little things like being able to do the dishes uninterrupted while the kids watch Curious George are little luxuries that we did not have even 6 months ago.  I look back to when Pen was a baby and Evelyn was barely 3.  That was a hard time. The bottles alone took me over an hour to complete each day.  The pumping at work... ugh...  I am so glad that is in the past.  It is still not easy, but it is getting easier.  My kids still require quite a lot of effort just to keep them under control...  but we can manage so much better now.  I enjoy being a parent so much more now.  I think (hope) I will enjoy it more and more and time goes on.

I was thinking of what other changes I want to make in my life.  I would love to start working out again.  I did this in the first 6 months after I went back to work, but it did not do too much for me.  I think I am in a better place to work out now.  I have no idea how I am going to fit it in - but I will think of something...

Bottom line: I need to keep doing new things and challenging myself.  Only with a variety of experiences will I continue to feel happy and alive.